no voice.

there’s a alot i wanna blog about.

there’s alot i wanna rant.

there’s so much to complain

there’s so much pain.

i cant help it but to feel left out.

sometimes i wish there’s more than just 24hours in a day so i can split my hours with everyone.

i only have so much time, that much energy. how to be involved in every single thing?

i wanna be there when u need me

i wanna be there when you want me

i really wished i was there when the tears flowed.

but…

there’s always a fucking but.

i didn’t know.

i didn’t know when you need me.

i tried to be there but i couldn’t

u came over but i wasn’t much help.

what can i do? what can i say?

so what if i was there, so what if i risked being fired to hide at the stairways to hear your cries?

advices given were forsaken.

i was just there.

with no valid purpose.

care shown wasted? i really hope not.

it’s time like these i wish i had never cared about any one at all.

effort put in all taken for-granted.

why do i put in so much for?

so much for caring.

it doesn’t pay to be kind.

it’s not i do not want to be there.

there’s really no contact at all.

i know it pains you, im willing to be there but i couldnt because i didnt know.

i’m really drained.

im really exhausted.

i know that you know.

but…

damnit.

i feel im not needed.

maybe i am.

yes.

you do not need me.

for you have others.

others whom you are grateful to.

i’ll just stay away.

such things always happen to me.

is it me? or is it them?

you told me it was them. but what are you doing now?

so it’s me?

but what went wrong?

was i not caring enough? was i not initiative enough?

what do you guys want me to do?

what are you guys expecting from me?

im not a fucking mind reader.

if you do not fucking tell, i do not fucking know!

i fucking hate making new friends.

just fucking leave me alone. i’m comfortable where i am with whoever’s with me now.

its so hard to accept someone new into the clique and then slowly to realise that they’re just making a fool outta you.

damnit.

is there a “sustaining friendships for dummies“?

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3 thoughts on “no voice.

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