in denial

I am trying to convince myself that people accepts me for who I am.

I am trying to convince myself to believe that people can accept me for me.

I am soon-to-be convinced by my own thoughts that everyone is accepting me for who I am.

Or maybe, I’m just in denial.

I don’t know what to think.

I want to believe that people like me for me, not me being not me.

I want to believe that people can accept who I really am and not me putting up a false front.

I know who I really am and what I can become for the sake of other people.

But, wouldn’t that also be in denial?

Is being considerate somehow an act of denial?

Being considerate by behaving like another person to be accepted by others – an act of denial?

Self-acceptance versus Social-acceptance.

Which is more important?

Questions, questions, questions.

When can I ever get an answer?

God?

Give me an explanation about God then I’ll start believing.

It’s time I believe in something, especially in need to believe in myself.

What’s the first step in believing myself?

From what I can conclude, it’s back to where the questions came from – Convincing myself.

@#$%^&!!!!!

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3 thoughts on “in denial

  1. I don’t think it’s called denial when you try to be something else for the sake of other people. It’s called adaptibility and it’s a good skill to have. It doesn’t make you bad or shallow or in denial. It’s being able to adapt to your surroundings and people around you to prevent unhappiness and conflict.

    BUT… I think it’s also good to know when to do that and when not to. It’s generally nice being able to be yourself because it’s a comfortable place to be. And I’m sure there are people who like you as you, as there might be people who don’t. Everyone has fans and critics, so I wouldn’t sweat so much about it. 😛

  2. God? Why do you need an explanation? Either a higher power is real to you, or it is a total piece of bull crap.

    Self acceptance is more important. You can always find a group of like minded peers later. =P

  3. Hi lex, gary here.. tagged your blog..

    for this case, i would have to say that in order for you to know yourself better, you have to showcase your talents to people.. these talents you wont know until people tell you.. through this, maybe you will know yourself better.. no??

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